I FOUND IT
NO ONE BELIEVED ME WHEN I SAID I HEARD AN ICE CREAM TRUCK DROPIN BEATS DOWN THE STREET
NOW I HAVE A VID TO PROVE IT OMG I’M SO HAPPY I DIDN’T IMAGINE IT YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME
I wanna take you out for breakfast.
I wanna hear about your dreams.
I wanna know why your stressed.
I wanna see your smile.
I wanna know why they hurt you.
I wanna pick you off your feet.
I wanna kiss your god dam face.
IT’S NOT “JUST A PHASE”, MOM
THE BARENAKED LADIES UNDERSTAND ME
Salvador Dali, Summer.
-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this
- Hail Hydra
Vampire Weekend - Hannah Hunt + Ocean Sounds
requested by anon
Good moments from Meta Fiction
THESE MOTHERFUCKERS RIGHT HERE.
I am only allowed to buy them once in a great while because I WILL EAT THE WHOLE DAMN PACKAGE AT ONCE.
so fucking delicious. soooooo bad. made of 100% not real food.
For those of you who are not American, these cookies are in every single grocery store ever with their colorful frostings (different colors for every holiday!) and sprinkles. Their texture is like the softest sweetest cakey cookie ever, with sweet frosting…GAAAAAH
they are evil. they cannot be resisted.
i feel u on a deep spiritual level
THEY ARE SO GOOD HOLY MOLY
"Augustus is soooo pretentious!!!"
Ohmygod, no way?? It’s almost as if that’s exactly what John Green intended.
"Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production."
i am demisexual meaning i am only attracted to those born of gods or who are themselves a diety. move out of the way assholes, i’m gonna fuck zeus
"How are you, Dean?"
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
Commonly confused medieval weapons, a powerpoint by me.
Now stop screwing them up, seriously, or I will put a medieval weapon in your head.
Tumblr is endearing me to being lectured at in Comic Sans
THIS is a WAR SCYTHE, a scythe actually used in combat. Notice it is not a useless piece of shit and is an actual functional weapon.
The only reason why death is pictured with a FARMING scythe is because he harvests souls.
now i can kill ppl and know what im killing them with thank you
also catapult and trebuchet are NOT synonymous